Monkey Jokes and Puns

There’s no monkey business going on when it comes to these funny monkey jokes and puns!

Funny Monkey Jokes

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed monkey on a tricycle and a well-dressed monkey on a bicycle?

Attire.

Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

And I gotta say that’s true because I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

What did Curious George say when his sister had a baby?

“Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.”

What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

A babooooom!

What is a monkey’s favorite dance move?

The banana split.

What do you call an angry monkey?

Furious George.

Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling good.

What’s a monkey’s favorite game?

Hangman.

There were two monkeys sitting in the bath.

One says to the other: “Oooooo eeeeee oooooo aaaaa!”

The other says: “Put the cold tap on then!”

Did you heard about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?

They were Prime mates.

Where do monkeys get their gossip?

On the ape vine.

Where do monkeys go to get drunk?

The monkey bars.

When do monkeys fall from the sky?

During Ape-ril showers.

How do you get a one-armed monkey down from a coconut tree?

You wave at him.

I usually can’t use monkey bars.

But I’m getting the hang of it.

What do you call a monkey that can’t get into his house?

A mon.

What do you call a lawyer who only works for certain apes?

Pro bonobo.

What do you call it when a group of apes start a company?

Monkey business.

Where do baby monkeys sleep?

In ape-ricots.

I was shocked when my brother told me he adopted a baboon!

Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.

How do you fix a broken gorilla?

With a monkey wrench.

What do you call a dancing monkey?

A party animal.

Why do you never see monkeys hiding in trees?

Because they’re so good at it.

What is a monkey’s favorite fruit?

Ape-ricot.

I get free shipping on all of my monkeys…

Through Amazon Primate.

What’s a monkey’s favourite dance?

The macaque-rena.

What kind of monkey can fly?

A hot air baboon.

What do you call a monkey who loves fancy desserts?

A meringue-utang.

Why do monkeys make great friends?

Because they are prime mates.

Scientists are creating a world where monkeys are allergic to tobacco.

They’re calling it the Planet of the Vapes.

What’s invisible and smells like bananas?

Monkey farts.

What do you call it when a monkey refuses to eat?

Bananarchy.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

The driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming

She says to the man next to her, “The driver just insulted me.”

The man says, “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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