We’ve not bitten off more than we can chew with these funny beaver jokes and puns, so get your teeth into them now!
Funny Beaver Jokes
Why did the beaver get in trouble?
Illegal streaming.
Environmentalists are debating whether or not to remove a local beaver population.
Leaving them would cause flooding, but removing them would affect wildlife.
Dammed if they do, damned if they don’t.
So there’s these two beavers, one is named Joe and the other, Steven.
Joe and Steven have a fire.
Joe decides he’s hungry so he grabs a pan and some sticks.
Steven runs over and says, “Joe, what are you doing?”
Joe replies, “I’m just grilling up some sticks.”
Steven immediately smacks the pan from Joe’s paw and says, “Joe, that’s a non-stick pan!”
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
Why was the beaver so chill?
He was just going with the flow.
What is a beaver’s favorite kind of maths?
Logarithms.
How does a beaver get online?
He logs in.
Do you know what I hate about beavers?
All the dam jokes!
What did the beaver say when it saw it’s home on fire?
Hot dam!
Otters are more laid back than beavers.
They just don’t give a dam.
What did the beaver say to the tree?
“It’s been nice gnawing you.”
What’s a beaver’s favourite food?
Wood chips.
What do you call a beaver who gets stuck with the bill?
A platypus.
What do a male deer and a beaver have in common?
They both have buck teeth.
A beaver goes to the doctor and says, “I have this terrible cramp in my shoulder.”
The doctor says, “Wow, you can talk! You should be working in a circus or something.”
The beaver replies, “Why? Do they need a good electrician?”
Why did the beaver have a better credit score than the platypus?
The beaver didn’t have any bills.
A toothless beaver walks into a bar and asks…
Is the bar tender here?
A beaver goes on a blind date with a platypus.
Things are going well, and they’re really enjoying each other’s company.
Finally, they’re all done and they ask the waiter for the check.
The beaver pulls out his credit card and the platypus responds, “Put that away, the bill’s on me”.
Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks?
The riverbank.
Beaver jokes can be pretty dam funny.
Where do beavers sleep?
On a river bed.
What is a beaver’s favorite drama series?
Riverdale.
Beaver Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Beaver!
Beaver who?
Beaver-y quiet, I’m hiding!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Gnaw.
Gnaw who?
Gnaw any good beaver jokes?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Beaver.
Beaver who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
A bee.
A bee who?
A beaver is building a dam on the river.
Best Beaver Puns
Why was the little beaver sent to bed early?
Because it had been gnaw-ty.
I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.
Where do beavers live?
JustIn TimberLakes.
The Netherlands doesn’t have any beavers.
That’s why they have a hamster dam.
What does a French beaver call her home?
Ma’Dame!
What did the beaver parents yell at their kids?
Clean your dam room!
Why don’t you ever find beavers at sea?
They don’t have much gnaw-tical experience.
What did the beaver say when he slipped on some water?
Dam it!
Why was the beaver too cool for the river?
It was too main stream.
Why didn’t the beaver build homes for charity?
Because beavers don’t give a dam.
What did the river say when it saw beavers approaching?
Well I’ll be dammed!
A beaver walks into a beaver bar.
The bartender says, “Close the dam door.”
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea.
Why did the beaver cross the road?
Because he didn’t give a dam.
What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
Beaver or be square.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom?
Dam right they are.
The beaver’s mistake…
Was his own dam fault!
What is a naughty beavers’ favorite type of wood ever?
Knotty pine.
My Dutch guinea pigs want to become beavers.
They’re building a Hamsterdam.
I just bought a beaver and named him Clint.
Clint eats wood.
A beavers tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
If beavers could form a country…
It’d be a damnation.
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
Someone finally published a detailed explanation of the estimated number of hours it will take for a beaver to build a watertight barricade to redirect a stream.
It’s about dam time.
How did the beaver introduce his wife?
This is my significant otter.
I recently found out hell was made of demon beaver homes.
So that’s what they mean by eternal dam nation.
One time, I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd.
Then I saw another marine animal, and I thought it was otter.
Why did the beaver break up with his girlfriend?
Because he’s in love with some otter girl.
Why was the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
What’s a beaver’s favourite rap artist?
Timber-land.
I saw a team of medical beavers headed to a crash scene.
They were driving a dambulance.
Why was the beaver mad?
Because no one came to his dam party.
What did the selfish beaver say to the deer that asked him to help stop the flooding affecting her grazing grounds?
Frankly, my deer, I don’t give a dam.
I walked out my my cabin to find a beaver chewing on my favorite tree.
Me: “Will you stop doing that, Mr. Beaver?”
Him: “Gnaw.”
What’s the worst part about being a beaver?
It’s a lot of dam work.
What do beavers call their place of worship?
God dam.
How can you tell that only male beavers cut down trees?
Because they’re all fellers.
I keep mistaking beavers for other river mammals.
I otter know better.
Who is the most popular popstar in the woods?
Justin Beaver.
Where do beavers go for a hair cut?
To the bobber shop.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
What does beaver chili taste like?
Like a normal chili, but little otter.
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