We porpoisely brought you this great collection of funny dolphin jokes and puns! They’re flipping hilarious!
Funny Dolphin Jokes
If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks.
It cost me an arm and a leg!
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
My wife has a whale tattooed on her butt.
It used to be a dolphin.
Old MacDonald had a dolphin…
E-E-E-E-E.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”
And they respond, “Yes.” “Oui.” “Sí.” “Ja.”
Why are dolphins so successful at dating?
They always click with one another.
What do you call a dolphin that never ends?
Dol, because there’s no “fin”.
I got fired from the aquarium today.
I couldn’t get along with the dolphins, and my boss said I lacked any sense of porpoise.
Scientists had been trying to figure out how dolphins communicate for years.
Then one day it just clicked.
Did you know orcas are part of the dolphin family?
They do a killer whale impression.
How do you fish for dolphin?
Podcast.
What do dolphins have that no other mammals have?
Baby dolphins.
Dolphins doing calculus be like (eᴱ)’ = Eeᴱ.
I find it strange how everyone suddenly cares about straws killing dolphins…
They’ve been breaking camels’ backs for years.
A teacher told her first grade class, “A single dolphin can have two hundred off-spring!”
A little girl gasped, “How about the married ones?”
A new study of dolphins was recently performed.
The study showed that within a few weeks in captivity, they were able to teach humans to stand at the edge of their pool and throw fish at them.
Do dolphins speak Welsh?
Or is it just Wales.
I’d make a joke about a dolphin…
But I don’t see the porpoise.
What’s the difference between a dolphin and a tuna?
You can’t dolphin a guitar.
I wrote a book on dolphins.
It would’ve been easier to use paper.
Why don’t dolphins play tennis?
They’re scared of the net.
Dolphins are so intelligent that if you put them in a library they are able impress a large group of people.
The only problem is that it kills them.
What does a dolphin ask when he doesn’t understand?
“Can you be more Pacific?”
What’s the best way to hear what dolphins have to say?
Listen to their podcast.
Dolphin Jokes For Kids
Did you hear about the dolphins who got married?
They met at the aquarium and just clicked.
Why was the dolphin trainer upset with the surfer?
Because he did it on porpoise.
How do whales and dolphins get their news?
Through podcasts.
What do dolphins bake with?
All porpoise flour.
How did the octopus make the dolphin laugh?
With ten-tickles.
Why are dolphins so good at making pancakes?
They’re great flippers.
What did the whale say after the dolphin swam into him?
You did that on porpoise.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What did Cinderella’s dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper.
My dolphin looks brand new and shiny
I used all porpoise cleaner.
How does the dolphin alphabet go?
A-B-C-D-E-E-E-E-E-E.
What did the ocean say to the dolphin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call a group of singing dolphins?
An orca-stra.
How do dolphins make decisions?
They flipper coin.
What did they say about the dolphin that tripped its friend?
He did it on porpoise.
What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water?
Dolphout.
What do dolphins use to wash themselves?
All-porpoise cleaner.
Why did the dolphin go ‘urgh!’?
Because the sea weed.
Why won’t the dolphin apologize for splashing you with water?
Because he did it on porpoise.
How do dolphins listen to music?
Air Pods.
If you ever want to know your dolphin name…
Just lick your finger and rub a balloon.
What did the dolphin do when they lost their keys?
They flipped out.
Why do dolphins enjoy living in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
“Dad, can you help me with my homework?”
“Sure son.”
“What are 5 animals that live in the ocean?”
“3 whales and two dolphins.”
“Thanks dad.”
“Anytime.”
Where do dolphins sleep?
Water beds.
What does a dolphin’s butler do?
Serves a porpoise.
Why did the dolphin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do dolphins need to stay alive and healthy?
Vitamin sea.
Why don’t dolphins ever play tennis?
Because they’re too scared of the net.
Best Dolphin Puns
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don’t you think?
Why did the dolphin take up Buddhism?
Because he was searching for a higher porpoise.
I wanted to go to the local aquarium to see the new dolphin show, but when I got there I couldn’t get in.
It was closed for training porpoises.
What do you call a German dolphin?
Adolfin.
What did the emo dolphin say to the other dolphins?
“Life has no porpoise.”
Why did the shark befriend the dolphin?
Because it wanted more porpoise in its life.
Anything you do on a dolphin is never an accident.
It’s on porpoise.
You ever tried to cut the legs off of a dolphin?
It defeats the porpoise.
I lost my dolphin.
I no longer have a porpoise in life.
My wife said she feels like life has no meaning, so I told her we could go to the beach and look for dolphins in the waves.
I hope she finds some porpoise.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
I have an affliction that causes me to make bad puns about dolphins.
I don’t do it on porpoise.
An inventor has made some glasses that can block out all dolphin-like animals from your vision.
I think it’s useless.
I just don’t see the porpoise.
My parents never approved of my job at the aquarium, feeding the baby dolphins.
They felt like I could do something more important.
I know it might not be much, but I still feel like I’m serving a small porpoise.
There’s a discount to get into our local aquarium, as long as you’re camping, or dressed as a dolphin.
So, to all in tents and porpoises, it’s free!
Why was Mr. Dolphin’s bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan.
Why did FEMA put life-jackets on dolphins in the Gulf of Mexico?
For safety porpoises.
Did you hear about the dolphin at Sea World that is now used for underwater rescues?
He was reporpoised.
“Due to the rising number of dolphin attacks, we’ve had to outlaw any overnight camping on the beach.”
“We hope the new rule will help, for all in tents and porpoises.”
Dolphin trainers will always be in demand.
They serve a porpoise.
I don’t see the point in a SeaWorld without dolphins.
I mean, is there even a porpoise?
Why was the dolphin sent to the electric chair?
He was found guilty of crimes against a manatee.
Did you know that the navy is starting to use dolphins?
I guess it’s for some military porpoises.
What do a dolphin and a cat with no money have in common?
They’re both a poor puss.
After hours of searching, I’m happy to say I tracked down my bride’s beloved pet dolphin…
Finally, I found my wife’s porpoise.
Did you hear about the defective dolphin?
It wasn’t fit for porpoise.
Our local aquarium had to get rid of their fattest dolphin.
It wasn’t fit for porpoise.
Dolphin puns serve no porpoise.
There was this guy who found an ancient book. In that book he read that dolphins live forever if you feed them the meat of an eagle.
Some time later he came across a very sick eagle and thought: It’s gonna die soon anyway, might as well take it to the dolphins at the local zoo to see if what’s in the book is actually true.
At night he climbed over a wall to get into the zoo – and found himself right in the lion enclosure! He managed to escape the lions by jumping over them and then climbing up a tree.
He was later arrested and charged with smuggling ill eagle goods over state lions for immortal porpoises.
An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks.
In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball.
In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, “So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?”
The guide said, “Yes, for all intensive porpoises.”
What do you call a boring person from Finland?
A dolphin.
A Swiss Army Knife is a lot like a pod of dolphins…
Multi-porpoise.
I heard that dolphins have vestigial legs.
It would seem evolution defeeted the porpoise.
My cat is constantly being mistaken for a dolphin.
Poor puss.
I’ve spent my whole life searching for an invisible dolphin.
But now I don’t see the porpoise.
I once tried driving to Mexico to steal a couple pet dolphins.
But I was arrested for trying to enter the country for illegal porpoises.
Why are dolphins always smiling?
They produce endolphins.
More Animal Jokes
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