These funny cat jokes and puns are sure to claws lots of laughter because they are purr-fect!
Funny Cat Jokes
My cat got stolen.
I think she was taken by a purr snatcher.
I went to the library looking for a book about Pavlov’s dog and Schroedinger’s cat.
The librarian said it rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Why is it better to bring dogs into space than cats?
To avoid any cat-astro-fees.
I took my cat to the vet today.
He was not feline well.
Did you know that if you pour salt on a cat’s tail it will fall off?
It’s true! And if you pour pepper on a cat’s tail, the pepper will also fall off.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
I used to be in a band called “Missing Cat”.
You’ve probably seen our posters.
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat.
It was obvious that she thought her cat could understand her.
I came to my house and told my dog. We laughed a lot.
I let my cat outside today but when I started listening to Daft Punk she rushed back inside.
I guess she is more of a house cat.
What do you call a huge pile of cats?
A meowtain.
Never combine a cat with an apostrophe.
It’ll be a catastrophe.
What do cats like to read?
Catalogs.
My cat got 10/10 points at a beauty contest.
Purrfection.
What do you call a cat that’s always in a good mood?
Pawsitive.
What do you call an avalanche of cats?
A catastrophe.
Where does a cat go when he has lost his tail?
A retail store.
Where do cats learn to clean themselves?
At a cat lick school.
When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of cats.
This phenomenon is known as many paws.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies.
Why are there no cats on Mars?
Because Curiosity got there first.
My wife asked me to give the cat a bath today while she was at work.
My tongue is so sore right now.
The vet said to me, “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to put your cat down.”
I sadly asked why.
She said, “Because she’s too heavy for me to hold any longer.”
What do cats like to eat on a hot day?
Mice cream cones.
What does a cat wear at night?
Purr-jamas.
What do you call a French guy who was attacked by a cat?
Claude.
My email password has been hacked.
That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.
If I ever ran into a big cat in the jungle…
I’d probably puma pants.
What did the time-traveling cat say to it’s younger self?
Are you kitten me?
So, your cat lost one of his lives?
I guess now he’s an octo-puss.
