Quick Short Jokes

If you like quick jokes that are sharp and to the point, then these funny short jokes are perfect for you!

Funny Short jokes

We got a delivery of a giant roll of bubble wrap in work today.

“Where shall I put it?” I asked my boss.

“Just pop it in the corner,” he said.

It took me three hours.

I said to my wife, “You know, I’ve always had a bit of a thing for Beyoncé.”

“Whatever floats your boat,” she said.

I said, “No, that’s buoyancy.”

I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3, 5, 7, and 9.

The odds were against me.

When I woke up this morning I couldn’t remember which side the sun rises from.

Then it dawned on me.

A man is on trial for cannibalism.

He says to the judge, “Your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.”

Earlier today, I was chased by a mugger who was trying to steal my wallet.

He’d been chasing me for 10 minutes when I thought to myself, “He’s giving me a good run for my money.”

How much does the world’s heaviest dumpling weigh?


First thing this morning there was a tap on my door.

My plumber has a funny sense of humor.

In the word laughter, the letter L comes first.

The rest of the letters come aughter it.

I heard a great joke about a boomerang earlier.

I’m sure it’ll come back to me eventually.

Me and some of my friends have just formed a new band called “999 Megabytes”.

We haven’t got a gig yet.

If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock.

That’s pretty humerus.

A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night.


The other day I stopped at a roadside stand that had a sign saying “Lobster tails $2.”

I paid my $2 and the guy said, “Once upon a time there was this lobster…”

I’ve dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia.

I won’t rest until I find it.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.

Then it becomes a soap opera.

I have a pen that can write underwater.

It can also write other words too.

What do I know about bonsai trees?

Very little.

One of my friends said to me yesterday that I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

That was an incredibly unnecessary and hurtful thing to say.

It ruined our bath.

I’ve been prescribed anti-gloating cream.

I can’t wait to rub it in.

“I can see you standing in front of a log cabin in the middle of a huge storm, and fir trees are standing behind you,” said the old gypsy woman, staring into her crystal ball.

I said, “I think that’s actually a snow globe you’ve picked up there.”

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