Orphan Jokes And Puns

We finally found a home for these funny orphan jokes and puns, so why not give them some love!

Funny Orphan Jokes

I created a website for orphans.

It doesn’t have a homepage yet.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

Do you know what the F in “orphan” stands for?


What kind of flour do you buy an orphan?

Self raising flour.

What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?

A selfie.

I made a search engine for orphans.

It turned out great but it’s missing a home page.

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Why do orphans play tennis?

So they can get love.

Why can orphans never get in trouble with the law?

Because they’re never wanted.

What’s the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan and the other is an ore fan.

Why do most orphans become criminals?

They just want to feel wanted.

What did one orphan say to the other?

Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!

What do you get when you grind orphan wheat?

Self-raising flour.

I don’t see how me exercising will stop children from losing their parents…

But people keep telling me it helps end orphans.

What do you call a cannibal who eats his parents?

An orphan.

My friend who grew up an orphan, was ordained as a priest yesterday.

He’s Father Les.

Why didn’t the duck family take in the orphaned cygnet?

‘Swan more mouth to feed.

What did the orphan poker player say?

Will you raise me?

Why couldn’t the orphan’s illness be cured?

They called a family doctor.

Who isn’t allowed to watch PG movies?


Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?

Because it has no home button.

Why are orphans successful?

Because its either go big or go home. What choice do they have?

Why are orphans bad at poker?

Because they don’t know what a full house is.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they can call someone father.

Why is it good being an orphan?

Every bag of chips is family sized.

What is an orphan’s favorite beer?


Why is an empty champagne bottle like an orphan?

Because it has lost its pops.

Orphanage Jokes

How come the computers in the orphanage don’t work?

They don’t have a motherboard.

My neighbor donated all of his son’s toys to an orphanage.

He said he didn’t want him to get bored there.

Yesterday, folks from the orphanage came asking for a donation.

I have one less kid now!

I got arrested for providing free beds to an orphanage.

They said I was an accessory to kidnapping.

Orphanage websites are never well designed.

For some reason they never have a home page.

The last words my grandma told my grandfather were, “Sweetie, I’ll see you in heaven!”

Since then, grandpa has been kicking puppies and setting fire to orphanages.

I got booed off of the stage at the start of my comedy act for saying that I still live with my parents.

That’s the last time I do a gig at an orphanage.

I took a computer to an orphanage today.

Because it had no motherboard.

Imhotep wakes up and goes into an orphanage.

All the children look at him and ask: are you my mummy?

I saw a toddler crying so I asked, “Are you ok? Do you know where your parents are?”

He yelled, “NO!” and burst into tears.

I love working at the orphanage.

Did you hear about the fire at the orphanage this weekend?

The damage was not a parent.

More Funny Jokes

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