Love Jokes And Puns

What’s not to love about these funny love jokes and puns? Make a date to sit down and enjoy them – they’re attractively hilarious!

Funny Love Jokes And Puns

Her: I’m leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t-shirt every half an hour.

Me: Wait. I can change.

How do you know if your love interest is into you?

Invite them to the gym. If they show up then you know you’re working out.

My wife always says the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

Lovely woman.

Useless surgeon.

I’m reading a book about these two melons that have a forbidden love.

They’ve tried to run away together many times, but are caught every time.

It seems that no matter how hard they try, they just can’t-elope.

My therapist told me that I have trouble interpreting social cues.

I think she’s in love with me.

I fell in love with my cardiac surgeon.

He was pulling at my heart strings.

What do you call two worms in love?


Why did the lonely man work on his days off?

He loved the company.

Love is like peeing your pants…

Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

My wife was disappointed when she found out why my friends call me “The Love Machine”.

Because I suck at tennis.

I’ve met this French business woman recently. She’s so beautiful and so wealthy, I just couldn’t resist her and her lovely…


Did you hear about the two houses that fell in love with each other?

It was a lawn-distance relationship.

The Bible tells us to love each other.

The Kama Sutra is a little more specific.

I asked the trainer at the gym, which machine I should use to impress the ladies.

He pointed outside and said, “The ATM machine.”

Why shouldn’t you date tennis players?

Because love means nothing to them.

How do you get the farmer’s daughter to fall in love with you?

A tractor.

My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you’re sleeping, send me your dreams. If you’re laughing, send me your smile. If you’re eating, send me a bite. If you’re drinking, send me a sip. If you’re crying, send me your tears. I love you!”

I replied, “I’m on the toilet, please advise…”

I broke up with my girlfriend after telling her I loved her.

She told me she loves U2, I just can’t be with someone with a bad taste in music.

In France, They don’t say, “I love you.”

Because they don’t speak English there.

My wife insisted that I use the phrase “make love” instead of the f-word.

I said, “What the make love are you talking about?”

My girlfriend who I loved with all my heart left me while I was in the bathroom screaming with constipation.

It was the hardest dump I ever took.

Some people say its crazy for a frog to be in love with a pig…

But it just requires a bit of kermitment.

I broke up with a woman who loved her job at the suitcase factory.

I didn’t want her emotional baggage.

Two antennas met on a roof and fell in love.

The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was great.

My sister fell in love with a welder.

She got burned.

My sister fell in love with a crane operator.

She got let down.

My sister fell in love with a spirit.

She got ghosted.

Why did the vampire fall in love with the wizard?

Because the wizard was a neck-romancer.

Which body organ loves life the most?

The liver.

Everyone loves our friend Nate.

Even my dyslexic friend thinks he’s neat.

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