Funny Anatomy Puns

Make no bones about it, these funny anatomy puns are extremely humerus. We hope you enjoy them so we haven’t brought them to you in vein!

Best Anatomy Puns

I just got done writing my exhaustive dictionary of anatomy terms.

It’s a significant body of work.

Today in veterinary class we learned that cows have 4 stomachs to digest the grasses they consume.

It’s graze anatomy.

Human anatomy doesn’t usually gross me out.

But the uvula makes me gag.

I read a story about pig anatomy.

It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.

What show do cows love to watch while they’re eating?

Graze Anatomy.

What’s an anatomists’ favorite boat?

A blood vessel.

What did the cadaver say to the anatomy student?

You stole my heart.

We were doing a jigsaw puzzle of the human anatomy, and I hid the upper arm.

Nobody else found this humerus.

I was going to be a doctor but they kicked me out of med school when they found out I was a coward.

The dean said, “It takes guts to learn anatomy.”

Why did the med student fail anatomy?

He just couldn’t cut it.

Why do med students use books to study anatomy?

Because books have spines.

What did the anatomy students name their boy band?

New kidneys on the block.

Why was the scuba diver failing Anatomy?

Because he was below “C” level.

Why was the cross-eyed anatomy teacher fired?

She couldn’t keep her pupils straight.

I read a bunch of anatomy jokes and found them very humerus.

There’s a new drama featuring herbivore doctors.

It’s called Graze Anatomy.

Why the did the student fail anatomy?

Because the professor was really sternum.

Vein Puns

Research shows that 4 out of 5 vaccines are given in vein.

Today I found out that you can actually hear the blood flowing through your veins.

You just have to listen varicosely.

If there was a drug called Jesus, you’d literally be taking the Lord’s name in vein.

What do you call Batman’s blood vessels?

Bruce Vein.

I realized today the life of a blood cell is truly futile.

After all, it lives its whole life in vein.

I recently failed my Medical College entrance exam because of nerves.

The correct answer was blood vessels.

My father had the uncanny ability to know which way the wind blew by feeling his jugular.

It was his weather vein.

Two blood cells met and fell in love.

But alas, it was all in vein.

A man goes to the doctor for a follow-up on his deep vein thrombosis.

Doctor: “So I prescribed you blood thinners last month, have you been taking them?”

Man: “No. I have a great reason why not though.”

Doctor: “Aaah! The clot thickens!”

Heart Puns

To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it’s heart.

It sounds easy, but the process is painstaking.

My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.

At first my father refused to have a transplant, but then he had a change of heart.

Heart puns are the best way to keep a situation lighthearted.

What do you call two birds who are in love?

Tweet hearts.

What do you call it when a cardiology student drops out of medical school?

Heart failure.

I can heartly believe it’s been so long since the last time I’ve seen my cardiologist.

To be a good musician, you have to have a good heart.

That way, you always have the beat.

What did the pig say to his girlfriend?

I won’t go bacon your heart.

What did the gardener give his sweetie for Valentine’s Day?

A heart beet.

What did the octopus say to his girlfriend?

You octopi my heart.

If you catch a heart thief, you have to place them under cardiac arrest.

Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken rib cage?

His heart wasn’t in it.

Heart jokes are the best.

They’re never corn-orary.

What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?

A beater.

Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?

He played his heart out.

How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?

She just followed her heart.

Brain Puns

What kind of fish performs brain surgery?

A neurosturgeon.

Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80s music!

Me: Yikes! What’s The Cure?

Doctor: Oh my God. It’s worse than I thought!

What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?

It gives a brain wave.

I wasn’t planning on getting a brain transplant.

But then I changed my mind.

What chemical is released in your brain when you see something funny on the internet?


What did the left side of the brain say to the right side of the brain?

Let’s split.

Why didn’t the brain want to take a bath?

It didn’t want to be brainwashed.

How do the neurons in the brain communicate with each other?

With cell phones.

My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he’s got a brain tumor.

I told him not to worry, it’s probably all in his head.

When does it rain brains?

During a brain storm.

What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?

They give you a piece of your mind.

What does the frontal brain say to the parietal brain every day?

I lobe you.

How do you decide whether to be a brain surgeon or a novelist?

You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.

What do you call a hat for a brain?

A thinking cap.

Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?

Because they are very cultured.

What kind of pictures do brains post to their Instagram pages?


How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?

She gave him a piece of her mind.

Why can’t a brain be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?

It was mind=blowing.

What happens when a brain commits a crime?

It gets put in a nerve cell.

How do you turn a brain into water?

Remove the ‘b’.

What do you call a skull that lacks millions of neuron cells?

It’s a no-brainer.

Why did the brain go running?

It wanted to jog its memory.

The brain is an amazing organ.

It really makes you think, doesn’t it?

What kind of bees eat brains?


Why do humans have wrinkly brains?

We’ve been in the gene pool too long.

When does a brain get afraid?

When it loses its nerve.

What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?

The tree-frontal cortex.

Muscle Puns

What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn’t moved a muscle in a year?

A trophy.

I pulled a muscle digging for gold.

No worries though, it’s just a miner injury.

Why did the fisherman go to the gym?

To find some muscles.

I asked my trainer for some pointers on building muscle mass.

He showed me the whey.

Lifting dictionaries helps to add definition to your muscles.

My priest prescribed a circuit of crunches, flutter kicks, bicycles, and plank holds for the guilt I confessed about neglecting my stomach muscles during workouts.

I finally received my abs solution.

Why did the muscle miss class?

Because it wasn’t a-tendon.

A masseuse told me that my muscles were tense.

She really rubbed me the wrong way.

Why did the priest go to the gym?

For muscle mass.

Why did the person with muscle pain put their doctor through a soda stream?

Because they needed to see a fizzier therapist.

I went to a sea-themed disco the other day.

I pulled a muscle.

I’m looking for some kind of outer covering for muscles and bones.

Not for me. A skin for a friend.

Do you know how I feel about muscle relaxers?

I Valium.

I pulled a muscle while trying to come up with some synonyms.

Now I’m the-sorest.

What muscle group do you use the most when kidnapping someone?

The abductors.

What the best way to make a muscle contract?

Make them sign on the dotted line.

What’s the strongest muscle on a pig?

The hamstring.

What’s a circus performers favorite muscle?

A trapezius.

I’m taking a course with a focus on muscle fatigue.

I don’t want to talk about it.

It’s a sore subject.

What do you call a muscle-bound bee?


I have great muscle memory…

I totally remember when I was in shape.

What do you call an Egyptian’s butt muscle?

A sphinx-ster.

A surgeon just removed my son’s cardiac muscle.

That’s disheartening.

I wasn’t a big fan of having muscle when I started weightlifting

It’s growing on me though.

After getting acupuncture, my chronic muscle pain is completely gone.

The pin really is mightier than the sore.

What did the lips say to the facial muscle?

You make me smile.

What do you call the death notice of someone who died from a muscle relaxant overdose?

A barbiturary.

Doctor: “You’ve damaged several muscles including your calf and your quad.”

Patient: “Is that true, or are you just pulling my leg?”

What do muscle-heads ring at your door?

A barbell.

Native Australians were the first to develop the six pack muscle in their belly.

Ab originals.

What do you call a bodybuilder that can’t sing?

Muscle tone deaf.

What do cannibals take to build muscle?

Cannibolic steroids.

Eye Puns

I love eye puns.

The cornea the better.

What do you call a chief without an eye?

A chef.

My old boss wasn’t very good, but he did always make sure to keep the sun out of my eyes.

He was a super visor.

What’s it called when you poke your eye while putting on safety goggles?


What do you call a doctor who is obsessed with Apple products?

An iDoctor.

I rubbed ketchup in my eyes to improve my vision.

In Heinz-sight, it was not the best idea.

What do you call a lotion that makes your eyes wet?


“Bad puns are how eye roll,” said the optometrist to his annoyed patient.

What did one eye say to the other eye?

Between you and me man, something smells.

Did you hear about the webpage for people who suffer from chronic eye pain?

It’s a site for sore eyes.

Eye doctors always take the elevator.

They hate the stares.

Why do beekeepers have such beautiful eyes?

Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

My mate Fred had a great job, until he grew an extra eye.

Then he was fired.

What do you call it when an Apple user looks you in the eye?


How do optometrists listen to their favorite music?

On eye-tunes.

Why did the teacher who needed glasses quit her job?

She couldn’t control her pupils.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fishually impaired.

What do you get if you punch a deer in the eye?

A bad eye deer.

I was dating a girl with a lazy eye, but I had to break up with her.

She was seeing other people on the side.

Bone Puns

What do you call a fake bone?

A faux-knee.

What bone is the sassiest?

The cheek bone.

The sound of my bones really cracks me up.

What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?

The hip.

I boiled a funny bone once.

It turned into a laughing stock.

Leg bones are known for always wanting to tell the truth.

They find it easy tibia honest.

I love my funny bone.

I find it very humerus.

What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?

Spare ribs.

Dogs can’t see your bones.

But catscan.

What kind of steak do they serve at a golf course?

A tee bone.

What are the two most profane bones in the human body?

The blasfemurs.

Where do you learn about bones?


Why couldn’t the skeleton drag himself out of bed?

He was bone tired.

Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?

Because they’re hip.

I had a guitar pick made of bone and I lost it somewhere in my bedroom.

I really have a bone to pick with myself for being so careless.

What’s the least honest bone in the body?

The fibula.

How did the two wrist bones get to work?

They carpal-ed.

What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?

Dark humor.

Did you hear about the bone that was almost eaten by a group of wild dogs?

It was a marrow escape.

What skeleton was the first emperor of France?

Napoleon Bone-aparte.

Why was the skeleton sent to prison?

He was bad to the bone.

Puns About Anatomy

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