Fart Jokes And Puns

These funny fart jokes and puns certainly don’t stink! They’re a breath of fresh air!

Funny Fart Jokes And Puns

How come no one at the kings table laughed when he farted?

Because noble gases don’t cause a reaction.

Why doesn’t James Bond fart in bed?

Because it’ll blow his cover.

What is it called when two mummies fart at the same time?


You shouldn’t fart in an Apple store.

They don’t have Windows.

Scientists have just discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart.

They say it’s a blast from the past!

An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”

The husband says, “Change the battery in your hearing aid.”

What do you call someone who doesn’t fart in public?

A private tutor.

I farted in front of my son.

He said, “That sounded like a duck!”

I told him, “That’s because I have a butt quack.”

I farted in my wallet.

Now I have gas money.

My dad burst into my room and said, “Wanna hear a joke?”, and then proceeded to fart for a whole minute.

He said, “Sorry. That was a long winded story.”

If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.

Noble gases have no reaction.

What do you call a replacement fart?

A substi-toot.

I farted in Burger King.

It was an absolute whopper.

I was standing next to a clown and he farted.

It smelled funny.

Farting in a packed elevator…

It’s wrong on so many levels.

What do cow farts smell like?

Fresh derrière.

I was teaching my daughter manners and telling her why it’s impolite to fart next to people when I realized…

I was giving her a toot-orial.

What do you call a murderer that can’t stop farting?

Jack the Ripper.

Witches don’t fart…

They cast smells.

Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?

He ran out of gas.

What do you call a caveman’s fart?

A blast from the past.

What do you call a smart fart?


I got a new deodorant stick today.

The instructions said, “Remove cap and push up bottom.”

I can barely walk, but every time I fart the room smells great!

What happens to someone who farts in church?

They have to sit in their own pew.

I came up with the funniest fart joke ever.

I’ve been holding it in for days!

A fart was walking down the street when it saw another fart crying and asked, “What’s wrong?”

The other fart replied, “My boss let me go.”

Why is it rude to fart in church?

Because of everyone else that has to sit in your pew.

What do you call it when someone notices that you farted?

An asstoot observation.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I farted.

I’d be stinkin’ rich.

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, I have a terrible problem with gas, but it doesn’t bother me much.”

“My farts are always silent and never smell. I probably farted 15 times since I’ve been here, and you didn’t realize it.”

The doctor says, “Interesting. Why don’t you take these pills and come see me in a week?”

The old lady returns in a week and says, “I don’t know what the heck you gave me. My farts are still silent, but oh my, they stink!!”

The doctor says, “Excellent. Now that your sinuses are cleared, let’s work on your hearing.”

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