Scuba Diving Jokes And Puns

Although these hilarious scuba diving jokes and puns will definitely make a splash, there’s no way they’ll sink without trace!

Funny Scuba Diving Jokes

I used to be into scuba diving.

I stopped though.

Deep down it just wasn’t for me.

Of my many luxury cars, which would I least want to take scuba diving?

The Benz.

Did you hear about the anti-masker who went scuba diving?

They drowned.

I don’t think I can go scuba diving.

It’s just too much pressure.

If I ever became a scuba instructor that did group dives…

I’d like to be referred to as the “wetting planner”.

I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after giving my first lesson.

Deep down, I realized it wasn’t for me.

A friend of mine has been offering me free scubad iving lessons for years now and has told me we can start next week.

I’m not going to hold my breath.

I applied for a job as an Instructor at a scuba diving center.

The interviewer asked me if I can work well under pressure.

I hated it when I went scuba diving.

It was the lowest moment of my life.

Why can’t Bill Clinton go scuba diving?

He won’t inhale.

Scuba diving’s a good hobby…

If you wanna hit rock bottom.

What do you call an overweight monk going scuba diving?

A deep fat friar.

I don’t like scuba diving without equipment.

It’s a tankless job.

I thought I didn’t like scuba diving.

But deep down, I do.

I went scuba diving the other day, I went deeper and deeper until I saw a most magnificent sight.

A beautiful mermaid, probably the most gorgeous creature I’d ever laid eyes on.

I thought of asking her on a date but I took one look at my pressure gauge and realized…

She was way out of my league.

I was doing a bit of scuba diving on an old German sub wreck when I found a strange object.

I wasn’t sure what it was, so I took it to the British Maritime Museum.

“Oooh, it’s a bit of an enigma,” the curator told me.

He obviously wasn’t that good at his job, I thought.

Best Scuba Diver Jokes

Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

Where do scuba divers exaggerate their accomplishments?

In the hyperbolic chamber.

How do scuba divers communicate?

Speech bubbles.

Why wasn’t the scuba diver invited to the company’s executive beach party?

Because he was below C-level.

What type of decompression illness do very wealthy scuba divers get?

Mercedes Bends.

I heard about an octopus that robbed a group of scuba divers this weekend.

He was well-armed.

What did the scuba diver say when the sea cow bit him?

I’ve lost my faith in huge manatees.

Where do scuba divers like to sing?

The choral reef.

Why did the stingray have a chat with the scuba diver?

He wanted to have a manta-man talk.

Why don’t scuba divers get good grades?

They’re always below C level.

What’s a scuba diver’s favorite type of math?


With what did the scuba diver use to cut seaweed?

A sea-saw.

What did the scuba diver say to the ocean?

“Water you doing?”

What happened to the scuba diver’s journal?

It got water logged.

How do you know if a scuba diver is outgoing?

They’re always up for a “deep” conversation.

Why did the scuba diver cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide.

Why did the scuba diver blush?

He saw the ocean’s bottom.

Why did the scuba diver bring a pillow underwater?

In case they came across a seabed.

Why don’t skeletons scuba dive?

They don’t have the guts.

Hilarious Scuba Jokes

Scuba is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

What you may not know is that tuba is also an acronym for…

Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

Where do scuba workers go after work?

Dive bars.

Did you hear about the scuba shop that went out of business?

It went under.

I got a second mortgage on my house just to buy scuba gear.

Now I’m underwater.

I own a struggling scuba shop.

My business is going under.

A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear.

He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him.

He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, “How the heck can you stay down this deep without equipment?”

The other guy takes the chalkboard and writes, “You idiot, I’m drowning.”

What do you call a snorkel that thinks it’s a scuba suit?

Self Proclaimed Underwater Breathing Aparatus.

What’s the difference between a scuba instructor and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

What do you need to be a scuba instructor?

The ability to work under pressure.

Scuba Diving Puns

What do you call a scuba diving dog?

A sub woofer.

What do you call a Norwegian scuba diver?

A fjord explorer.

What musical instrument does a scuba diver play?

The swim-bals!

What does a scuba diver wear to sleep?

A snore-kel.

Are swimming pools a good place to scuba dive?

It deep-ends.

What do you call a dog that finds clues under water?

Scuba Doo.

I hate when I have to stop scuba diving.

It makes me deep-pressed.

I like to listen to really dark aggressive music while scuba diving.

I’m really into depth metal.

One time, I was out scuba diving when I suddenly heard beautiful voices singing in unison.

I was very surprised until I looked beneath me and realized it was coming from a choral reef.

I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving.

One day I lobster and never flounder again.

What did Dean Martin shout when he bumped an eel while scuba diving?

That’s a moray!

The other day while scuba diving for seafood it dawned on me that everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself…

That’s shellfish.

Who eats at underwater restaurants?

Scuba diners.

Did you hear that Adele started a campaign to raise awareness for sea life by reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone while scuba diving 60 ft under the water?

They called it “Rowling in the Deep”.

What do you call a scuba diving detective?

Sherlock Foams.

I used to be a scuba diving instructor, but I got tired of the same old tankless job.

Who’s the most famous scuba-diving detective?

Jacques Clouseau.

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