Skeleton Jokes And Puns

Make no bones about it, these scary funny skeleton jokes are very humerus! Don’t let no body tell you otherwise!

Funny Skeleton Jokes And Puns

Why didn’t skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn’t have the guts.

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?

He had no body to go with.

What is a skeleton’s favorite snack?

Spare ribs.

Why are skeletons so lonely?

They ain’t got nobody.

A skeleton walks into a bar.

He orders a beer and a mop.

What’s a skeleton’s favorite type of danger?

Grave danger.

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

They don’t have the guts.

What’s a mummy’s favorite type of food?

Chicken wraps.

What is a 2000 pound pile of bone called?

A skele-ton.

Why aren’t skeletons good at poker?

You can see right through them.

Why are skeletons so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin.

What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?


What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?

Spare ribs.

Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating?

Because they have no body to go with.

Why don’t skeletons dance at Halloween parties?

They have no body to dance with.

Why do skeletons make bad comedians?

Because they don’t have a single funny bone in them.

Except in the arm. That’s humerus.

With trembling hands, my doctor looked up from my x-ray and stammered, “This is exactly what I was afraid of.”

Gripping my chest, I rasped, “What?”

Eyes wide, he whispered, “Skeletons!”

Why can’t skeletons play church music?

They don’t have any organs.

Why are skeletons such bad liars?

You can see right through them.

As a joke, I hid the arms of the dummy skeleton in the bio lab.

My teacher is not amused.

He did not find that humerus.

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween?

He could feel it in his bones.

Skeleton Puns

How does a French skeleton say hello?


What type of lettuce do skeletons use for their salads?

Human Romaines.

What did the skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit.

His whole family found that humerus.

Why did the skeleton go to the museum?

Because it wanted to go see the skull-ptures.

Why does the skeleton go to church?

It keeps him on the straight and marrow.

What instrument do skeletons play?


Why do skeletons shy away from horror movies?

They have no stomach for them.

Who’s the world’s most famous skeleton detective?

Sherlock Bones.

How does a French skeleton say hello?


What do you call a flying skeleton?


What is a skeleton’s favorite guitar chord?

The spinal cord.

I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”

I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.

What a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?

The saxa-bone.

What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire for too long?

He became bone dry.

I wanted to tell a skeleton pun…

But I don’t have the guts for it.

Why couldn’t the skeleton keep his house tidy?

Because he was a lazy bones.

How do skeletons call each other?

On their cell bones.

How do skeletons watch their favorite shows?

On their skele-visions.

What happened to the pirate ship that sank in the sea full of sharks?

It came back with a skeleton crew.

How do skeletons travel?

On skele-copters.

Why did the skeleton fail all his examinations in school?

Because he was a numskull.

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