Dracula Jokes And Puns

It’d be a grave mistake to miss this fantastic collection of funny Dracula jokes and puns. You can count on them to raise a laugh!

Funny Dracula Jokes

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Because he’s a pain in the neck.

I’ve just got a job making plastic Draculas.

But there are only two of us on the production line.

So I have to make every second Count.

If Dracula passed gas…

It would be a Nosferatoot.

What’s Dracula’s favourite type of coffee?


There are relatively few films with Dracula in them.

On the other hand, films without Dracula are countless.

Why was Dracula bad at business?

He couldn’t face his stakeholders.

Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?

He made a grave mistake.

What is Dracula’s least favorite fast food joint?

Stake N’ Shake!

What happens when you cross a snowman and Dracula?

You get frostbite.

Vampires don’t really exist.

Well, unless you count Dracula.

How does Dracula prefer his potatoes?

Monster mashed.

What is Dracula’s favourite fruit?


What can Dracula do best?


Dracula’s wife is divorcing him because he cheated.

She wants it all, the castles the coffins, etc…

She’s going to bleed him dry!

What do you call Dracula with hayfever?

The pollen count.

I’ve spent the afternoon re-arranging the furniture in Dracula’s house.

I was doing a bit of Fang-Shui.

Why did Dracula get kicked out of art school?

He could only draw blood.

Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?

Because of his coffin.

Why should you never invite Dracula to a party?

He’ll suck the life out of it.

Why did Dracula go to the clinic?

He was coffin.

What do you call Count Dracula’s half brother?

Discount Dracula.

Where does Count Dracula eat lunch?

The casketeria.

What do you call Dracula after he gets out of the bath?

A dampire.

What do you call a vampire losing their eyesight?

Dracula degeneration.

What do you call a duck with fangs?


More Funny Halloween Jokes