Christmas Wordplay Jokes

Are you a smarty pants? If so, you’ll enjoy these fiendishly clever Christmas play on words jokes!

Funny Christmas Wordplay Jokes

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?

They had a weigh in a manger.

What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.

What do you call buying a piano for the holidays?

Christmas Chopin.

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

It’s Christmas, Eve!

Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?

He’s a fun guy to be with.

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?

Stick with me and we’ll go places.

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?


Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?

Their days are numbered.

Why is everyone so thirsty at the North Pole?

There’s no well, no well.

How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day?

There’s Noel.

I have this incredible ability to predict what’s inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

What’s a child’s favourite king at Christmas?

A stoc-king.

How did Scrooge win the football game?

The Ghost of Christmas passed.

Where do Christmas plants go when they want to become movie stars?


The Christmas jumper my kids gave me last year kept picking up static electricity.

I took it back and exchanged it for another one, free of charge.

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