Best Math Jokes And Puns

It’s easy to sum up these math jokes and puns – they’re hilarious! There’s nothing odd about them at all; in fact they’re above average!

Table Of Contents

Funny Math Jokes For Kids

These cheesy math jokes for kids are suitable for all ages!

“Dad, can you do my math homework for me?”

“No son, it wouldn’t be right.”

“Well, at least you could try.”

What is a math teacher’s favorite superhero?

Four, God of numbers!

What did one math book say to the other math book?

We’ve got a lot of problems.

There are three kinds of people in this world.

Those who are good at math, and those who aren’t.

Which snakes are good at math?


I heard 8/10 Americans are bad at math…

I’m glad to know I’m in the other 2%.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school yesterday?

He slept all through math.

If I had to describe myself in three words, I would say…

“Not very good at math.”

Why should you never do math in the jungle?

Because if you add 4+4 you get ate.

I’ve failed in math more times than I can count.

Do you know which knight it was who came up with the Round Table?

Sir Cumference.

What did the student say to his calculator?

I know I can count on you.

What did the triangle say to the circle?

“You’re pointless.”

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven, eight, nine!

Which king loved fractions?

Henry the Eighth.

What do mathematicians do after a snowstorm?

Make snow angles.

Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?

The teacher told him not to use tables.

Why is statistics never anyone’s favorite subject?

It’s just average.

Dad Math Jokes

These corny math jokes work out perfectly as Dad math jokes!

I somehow managed to make it through high school math while only being able to remember even numbers!

What are the odds?!

If I had 50 cents for every math exam I failed…

I’d have $8.40.

I support farming and math…

I’m pro-tractor.

The first day of school, I signed up for English, Math, Science, and Geography.

The rest, as they say, is History.

Why should you always wear glasses when doing math?

It helps with division.

What makes some plants better at math than others?

Square roots.

How does a cactus do his math homework?

He uses a cacti-lator.

What do you call a number that won’t sit still?

A roamin’ numeral.

Math is 84% common sense.

The other half is intelligence.

I used to have a hard time differentiating between sine and cosine.

Luckily, it was just a phase.

How does a mathematician plow fields?

With a pro-tractor.

Why doesn’t anybody talk to circles?

Because there’s no point.

Why did the mathematician spill all of his food in the oven?

The directions said, “Put it in the oven at 180°”.

Do you know what seems odd to me?

Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.

A talking sheepdog rounds up all the sheep into the pen for his farmer.

He comes back and says, “Okay, Chief – all 40 sheep accounted for.”

The farmer says, “But I’ve counted them and I’ve only got 36!”

The sheepdog replies, “I know, but I rounded them up.”

Why do teenagers always travel in groups of three, five, or seven?

Because they can’t even!

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

But only a fraction would understand.

Why did the boy refuse to drink the water with eight ice cubes in it?

Because it’s too cubed.

I knew a mathematician who couldn’t afford lunch.

He could binomials.

Math Puns

These hilarious math puns add up to a lot of laughter!

Puns make me numb…

But math puns make me number.

I have a scary math joke.

But I’m 22 to say it.

There’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake:

  1. The first kingdom is rich and powerful — filled with wealthy, prosperous people.
  2. The second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too.
  3. The third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

The kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, since it’s a valuable resource to own outright.

  • The 1st kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire.
  • The 2nd kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own.
  • The 3rd kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.

The night before the big battle:

  • The knights in the 1st kingdom drink and are merry, partying into the late hours of the night.
  • The knights in the 2nd kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink into the late hours of the night.
  • In the 3rd camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

The next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up.

In place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing — the squire from the 3rd kingdom.

And the moral of the story is:

The squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

Not all math puns are bad.

Just sum.

What did the group of mathematicians call the band they formed?


Why are obtuse angles always depressed?

Because they’re never right.

Why should you be suspicious of prime numbers.

Because they’re all odd.

What shape is an empty bird cage?

A polly-gone.

Why was the math lesson so long?

Because the teacher kept going off on a tangent.

What do you call an angle that is adorable?

A-cute angle.

Are vampires good at math?

Not unless you Count Dracula.

Why did the two fours skip lunch?

Because they already 8.

What tool is best suited for math?


Why did ⅕ go to the masseuse?

Because it was two-tenths.

What is a bird’s favorite type of math?


Algebra Math Jokes

These algebra math jokes have the right formula for laughter!

Did you hear about the mermaid who liked math?

She wore an algae bra.

A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class.

It was a weapon of math disruption.

I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus…

But graphing is where I draw the line.

Algebra was the easiest subject to learn in Ancient Rome.

Because x was always 10.

Look, algebra, get over her, move on.

Stop asking us to find your x!

What do you call a hen that likes algebra?


If I had a dollar for every time algebra has helped me…

I’d have n dollars.

What do you call an algebra teacher that does magic on the side?

A math-magician.

What is a ghost’s favorite math subject?

Boo-lean algebra.

What did one algebra book say to the other?

“Don’t bother me, I’ve got my own problems.”

Why does algebra make you a better dancer?

Because you can use the algo-rhythm.

Calculus Math Jokes

You’re sure to derive a lot of entertainment from these hilarious calculus math jokes!

Two math professors are sitting in a pub.

“Isn’t it disgusting,” the first one complains, “How little the general public knows about mathematics?

“Well,” his colleague replies, “You’re perhaps a bit too pessimistic.”

“I don’t think so,” the first one replies. “And anyhow, I have to go to the bathroom.”

He goes off, and the other professor decides to use this opportunity to play a prank on his colleague.

He makes a sign to the pretty, blonde waitress to come over.

“When my friend comes back, I’ll wave you over to our table, and I’ll ask you a question. I would like you to answer: x to the third over three. Can you do that?”

“Sure.” The girl giggles and repeats several times: “x to the third over three, x to the third over three, x to the third over three…”

When the first professor comes back from the washroom, his colleague says, “I still think, you’re way too pessimistic. I’m sure the waitress knows a lot more about mathematics than you imagine.”

He makes her come over and asks her, “Can you tell us what the integral of x squared is?”

She replies, “x to the third over three.”

The other professor’s mouth drops wide open, and his colleague grins smugly when the waitress adds, “…plus C.”

Why do they never serve beer at a math party?

Because you can’t drink and derive.

I failed my calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.

It was hard to differentiate between them.

When God was integrating Planet Earth, he suddenly recalled his calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?


My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.

At this rate, he will never be there on time.

Calculus jokes are not at all useless.

They are an integral part of our society.

Dad: You should really take a break from studying calculus all day…

How can you even function?

Did you hear about the math professor who was accused of plagiarizing a calculus textbook?

He claimed it was a derivative work.

Being good at calculus in your later life is like…

The after-math.

I get a better workout by studying calculus between sets.

I’ve found there’s strength in numbers.

You might think my calculus jokes are derivative, but they’re an integral part of me.

What’s the single form of calculus?


Why do atheists have trouble with exponents?

They don’t believe in higher powers.

Math Teacher Jokes

These math teacher jokes are a lesson to us all in hilarity!

A math teacher was arrested today.

In his pocket they found a protractor, a calculator, and ruler.

He was arrested for carrying weapons of math instruction.

My math teacher is having a tough time adjusting to retired life.

He can’t seem to deal with the aftermath.

My daughter didn’t like her algebra teacher last year but she really likes her geometry teacher this year.

I’m glad things are shaping up for her.

My calculus teacher had a lisp, but he was brilliant…

A real mathter.

My math teacher took away my rubber band shooter today.

He said it was a weapon of math disruption.

My math teacher said I was an average student.

That was really mean.

The math teacher asked her class, “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”

A student raised his hand and replied, “A drinking problem.”

I’ve decided to become a math teacher, but I’m only going to teach subtraction.

I just want to make a difference.

Why was the math teacher late for class?

She took the rhombus.

Where do math teachers go on vacation?

Times Square.

Don’t go to the tattoo artist that used to be a math teacher.

They really did a number on me.

Why can’t you trust a math teacher holding a graph paper?

She’s definitely plotting something.

A math teacher asked his class, “If you have ten dollars and ask your dad for ten dollars, how many dollars do you have?”

A student replied, “10 dollars.”

The teacher responds, “You don’t know your maths, kiddo!”

To which the student replies, “Well you don’t know my dad!”

Did you hear about the math teacher that was afraid of negative numbers?

He would stop at nothing to avoid them.

Student: What’s infinity?

Math Teacher: Think of a number.

Student: Okay, I’ve got one.

Math Teacher: Good! That’s not it.

I am really grateful to my math teacher in elementary school who taught us how to subtract numbers.

She really encouraged us to make a difference.

Did you hear about the math teacher who was wrongly convicted?

It just didn’t add up.

How can you identify a group of math teachers?

They’re the ones that look like alge-bros.

I’ve noticed that a lot of math teachers don’t want to be mean…

They strive to be above average.

Did you hear about the math teacher who disappeared right in front of his class for 43 seconds?

He went indivisible.

What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?


Math Pi Jokes

You can have your pi and eat it with these funny math pi jokes!

What do you get when you eat 3.14 cakes?

You get fat. What were you expecting, a pi joke?

I have a hard time understanding pi jokes.

They always seem irrational.

I told my math teacher that ln(-1) = i*pi.

She told me that was neither realistic nor rational.

Who was the roundest knight at the Round Table?

Sir Cumference. He had too much pi.

What do you call a snake that’s 3.14m long?

A pi-thon.

What is a pumpkin’s circumference divided by a pumpkin’s diameter?

Pumpkin pi.

My Dad is a mathematician and exclusively has cake for dessert…

Because having pi would be too irrational.

I said to my sister, “Did you know there’s a computer currently calculating all the digits of pi?”

She asked, “When did it start?”

I told her, “At 3.”

Not to brag, but I know the first 40000 digits of the expansion of pi.

Just not in the right order.

3.14% of sailors…

Are pi rates.

My friends caught me listening to an audiobook of the digits of pi…

And I never heard the end of it.

My friend asked me how hard it is to calculate the area of a circle.

I told him it’s easy as pi.

I can list every single number that’s in pi.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 0.

Why is a priest’s favourite number 3.14?

Because they are very pi-ous.

It cost $3.15 for a sandwich.

Would have just been cheaper to get pi.

I don’t understand why people celebrate pi day.

It’s irrational.

Eating too much cake is gluttony, but eating too much pie isn’t a sin.

Because sin pi is always zero.

I never refuse pi.

That would be irrational.

My girlfriend is like a cross between pi and i.

She’s irrational and imaginary.

You should never start a conversation with pi.

It’ll just go on and on forever.

More Kids Jokes

If you enjoyed these puns and jokes about math, be sure to check out all our other jokes too, including these: