Karate Jokes And Puns

You’re sure to get a kick out of these belting karate jokes and puns; you just can’t beat them!

Funny Karate Jokes

I can’t believe I came last at the karate competition.

I’m still kicking myself.

Not to brag, but yesterday I beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

I beat a black belt at karate.

My next challenger is a green sock.

What do you call a sheep who does karate?

Lamb chop.

What do you call a pig who knows karate?

A pork chop.

How do you know Santa is good at karate?

He has a black belt.

I warn you not to mess with me!

I know karate, judo, aikido, jiujitsu and 22 other Japanese words.

My karate teacher got arrested for robbing a shoe store.

He said he did it just for kicks.

After 4 karate classes…

I can now break a 2-inch board with my cast.

I asked my karate teacher what he was having for dinner.

He said, “Chops”.

What do you call a baby goat that knows karate?

Karate Kid.

I wasn’t sure if I’d like my new karate class.

But I’m getting a kick out of it.

I’ve always been terrible at karate, so my sensei told me, “Wax on, wax off.”

I now have burning pain, but my chest is spotless. What does this have to do with karate?

Did you hear about the karate master that joined the army?

Nearly killed himself saluting.

Why are karate instructors the worst party guests?

They always show up empty handed.

I decided to teach karate to my neighbor’s kid.

He was enthusiastic for the first two days but then quit before he could finish painting the fences.

My career as a karate instructor finally came to an end.

The parents found out I wasn’t qualified and just enjoyed kicking children.

I have a karate addiction…

But I’m about to kick it.

What do you call a lawyer who knows karate?

A self-defense attorney.

Why did the cat get kicked out of the karate tournament?

He was a cheetah.

What’s a karate teacher’s favorite hotel?

The Hyaaaatt!

Two men got into a fight at the bar.

As one threw a punch, the other asked, “Do you know karate?”

The other man replied, “No.”

“You don’t strike me as someone who would.”

Best Karate Puns

What do you call karate for amputees?

Partial arts.

What’s a karate expert’s favorite beverage?


Why should you probably not practice your karate moves on a nun?

Because it can be hard to kick a habit.

What kind of car does a karate instructor drive?


What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at karate?

The Carroty Kid.

Someone was handing out certificates for a free karate lesson at the mall yesterday.

He told me I could only Taek Won Do.

If Eminem did karate…

His next album would be Marshall Arts.

What’s a vegetable’s favorite martial art?


Why did the exorcist learn karate?

So he could beat the hell out of people!

How does a lazy karate instructor announce himself?

Hi, Ya!

Did you hear about the kid who tried to learn karate on his own?

Well, after a lot of trial and error, he finally came to his Senseis.

What do you call a lawyer that knows karate?

Chop Suey.

I had a karate teacher who wasn’t very good at his job. Every time he was hit, he’d start crying.

His name was Sensei Tiv.

What do you call it when koalas do karate?

Marsupial arts.

A hitman who kills people through masterful karate was complaining about his clients being inconsistent, calling off hits then putting them out again.

He said it’s nothing but “Whacks on, whacks off”.

What’s the favorite drink of a karate instructor?


What type of martial arts do British people like?


What do you call a deer who knows karate?


My son’s karate teacher told me a great joke.

He has great sensei humour.

Why did the karate student keep killing all his teachers?

I guess he became desensitized.

Why did the cupboard learn karate?

For shelf-defense.

More Sports Jokes

If these hilarious puns and jokes about karate left you fighting the laughter, you may also enjoy these other sports jokes:

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