It’s snow joke, we think these are the best ski jokes and puns you’ll find! Be warned though, it’s a slippery slope when you start reading them; you won’t want to stop!
Funny Ski Jokes
Why does skiing need two “i”s?
Because stereoscopic vision helps you avoid obstacles.
I was going to tell some jokes about ski resorts.
But it’s a slippery slope.
A Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada.
After a hard day on the slopes, he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain.
After about five or six whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall.
He asks the bartender, “What the heck is that?”
The bartender replies, “It’s a moose.”
The Scottish chap shouts back, “How big are the cats!?”
What do skiers wear to seem taller?
Ski lifts.
Did you hear about the murder that just happened on the ski slope?
Apparently the murderer followed the victim up the chair lift and it was all downhill from there.
I’ve never been on a skiing holiday.
I’ve heard once you do, it’s a slippery slope.
A financial tip: Don’t invest in skiing companies.
The entire sport is going downhill fast.
I’m not very good at skiing.
I get to the top of the mountain then it’s all down hill from there.
My therapist warned me that I am getting addicted to downhill skiing.
She said, “It’s a slippery slope.”
Somebody asked me recently why I took up downhill skiing.
I told them uphill skiing was far too difficult.
My local ski resort was ripped off last week for around $900.
The robber stole a burger, two beers, and some chips.
The guy running the ski-lift said it would be $50 to get to the top of the mountain.
I said, “That’s a bit steep.”
He said, “Exactly.”
I used to own 3 ski lodges, one in the Alps, one in Aspen and one in France.
When I got divorced the first 2 times, my exes each got a lodge as part of the settlement.
The third marriage, I decided I needed a prenuptial agreement to cover my assets. It was all I could do!
It’s my last resort!
I heard that Oakley is doing a collaboration with The Simpsons.
They are releasing a line of Ned Flanders ski goggles called Oakley Dokley’s.
A Pharoah calls to make a reservation at a ski resort.
Pharaoh: I’d like to make a reservation for two please.
Attendant: Absolutely. Can I get your name please.
Pharoah: Neferneferuaten.
Attendant: Can you spell that out for me?
Pharaoh: Bird, double triangle, wavy line, dog head, more bird, flames.
In my opinion, the best part of skiing is the climb up to the top.
It goes downhill from there.
Is Paul Simon any good at skiing?
No, he’s always “Slip Slidin’ Away”.
What do you call a non-skiing Inuit?
An emo.
I once killed a grizzly bear with a knife on a ski trip in Alaska.
I didn’t know bears could ski or where he got the knife.
How do frogs ski?
They rip it.
How many extreme skiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 1, the rest stand around and say, “I could have done that.”
How do you become a millionaire in the ski industry?
Start with two million.
Where does a skier keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do skiers use to correct their mistakes?
Whiteout.
Why should you always invite a skier to Thanksgiving dinner?
They’re great at carving.
Why did the dairy farmer move to a ski area?
He heard that skiers do milk runs.
Why aren’t skiers fun to be around when they’re going up a mountain on a lift?
Because they’re always looking down on you.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke.
Why did the skier only wear one boot?
He heard there would be a 50% chance of snow.
Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and leg in a skiing accident?
He ended up being all right.
Ski Instructor Jokes
How do you know when a ski instructor walks into the room?
Don’t worry, he’ll tell you.
What’s the difference between God and a ski instructor?
God doesn’t think he’s a ski instructor.
What’s the difference between a ski instructor and a large pizza?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What’s the difference between a ski instructor and a skiing student?
3 days.
What’s the difference between a ski instructor and a mutual fund?
Eventually the fund will mature and make a little money.
I thought taking a job as a ski instructor would be great.
But it really went downhill fast.
What’s the difference between the Texas grid and a ski instructor?
A ski instructor works in the winter.
What do you call a ski instructor with no girlfriend/boyfriend?
Homeless.
How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change the bulb and one to say, “Nice turn, nice turn!”
How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
A dozen. One to unscrew the bulb and the rest to analyze the turns.
Best Skiing Puns
Most people don’t understand why I find ski resorts funny.
They’re hill areas.
What’s the Hebrew word for competitive skiing?
Shlalom!
What did the doctor give the weatherman after his skiing accident?
4 casts.
Why was the hippo afraid to go skiing?
He didn’t want to get hippothermia.
Why do Polish people have the word “ski” at the end of their name?
Because you need Poles to ski.
What did the skier say when he left?
I’ll ski myself out.
A friend and I got into a fight on a ski lift.
It was an uphill battle.
What do skiers eat for lunch?
Icebergers.
How did they find Will Smith when he went cross country skiing and lost in a snowstorm?
The rescue team looked for the fresh prints.
What kind of parties do skiers go to?
Snowballs.
A man burst into a ski resort in Vail, Colorado.
He shouted into the room, “Everywhere I go, there’s a black bird that sticks to me. He sticks to my fleece jacket, my wool hat, even my velvet gloves!”
The concierge shakes his head and says, “Oh, that’s just the Vail crow.”
There was a guy in our downhill skiing club but we had to kick him out for creating drama over every little thing.
He was always making a mountain out of a mogul.
I once saw a Bolshevik walking through the snow.
Well, it was more of a trot ski.
What sort of animals do skiers own?
Salo-pets.
A guy came to apply for a job at my ski resort but suddenly walked off angrily.
All I said was, “There’s snow jobs available.”
Why are the Swiss so bad at skiing?
They need a lot of Alp.
I think skiing is rather suspicious.
Its “i”s are too close together.
Did you know that being an omelette chef at a ski resort is one of the most stressful jobs in the world?
Everyone has such high eggspectations.
What does a blind man use to ski?
A skiing eye dog.
I went skiing the other day.
It was snow much fun!
When my wife goes skiing she finds it fun to fall on purpose.
She’s a strange woman, but that’s how she rolls.
They told me we were going sledding but we went skiing instead.
I felt misled.
Ski jokes aren’t funny.
But ski resorts are hill areas.
Skiing One Liners
Once the ski jokes start, the conversation tends to go downhill quickly.
Skiing is the piste de résistance of winter sports.
Too many skiing jokes could have an avalanche effect.
You know what they say, life at a ski resort sure has its ups and downs.
I was engaged to a woman who worked at a ski resort but she got cold feet, so our engagement fell apart and it was all downhill from there.
You could say that getting addicted to skiing is a slippery slope.
I feel like the activity of skiing is really just going down hill.
Going skiing always gives me a lift.
Sure, you’re just sledding now but it’s a slippery slope and soon you’ll be snowboarding and skiing.
Ski lifts always chair me up.
I’m going to ski down this hill like there’s snow tomorrow.
For those in the snow, skiing can be pretty easy.
If it’s your first time skiing, take it ice and easy.
Don’t wait until spring to go skiing, there’s snow time like the present.
No matter what happens when skiing, the snow must go on.
I broke up with my wife on a ski trip because our relationship was going downhill.
Some guy I know from school just brushed past me without a skiing jacket on, I think he was giving me the cold shoulder.
A novice skier often jumps to contusions.
More Sports Jokes
If you enjoyed these hilarious puns and jokes about skiing, check out the rest of our sports jokes for more fun and laughter:
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