Darts Jokes And Puns

We’ll get straight to the point – these hilarious darts jokes and puns are sure to take flight and hit the target!

Funny Darts Jokes

Do you know what makes me throw up?

Dart boards on the ceiling.

My wife purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands, that’s where I’m taking you on holiday this year.”

Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.

I was at the pub last night and a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.

On a related note, I really do suck at darts.

I ran a tournament for tall, blind dart players.

It was all above board.

Have you ever played a game called blindfold darts?

You don’t know what you’re missing.

Why don’t blind people throw darts?

They don’t see the point.

I’ve been having trouble with my darts sticking to the board lately.

Got any good tips?

Never play darts with children.

Their heads aren’t nearly sharp enough.

A husband is throwing darts at his wife’s photo and not even a single throw hitting the target.

From another room the wife calls, “Honey, what are you doing?”

Husband: “Missing you…”

I asked a guy in a pub if he wanted a game of darts.

He said, “OK, nearest the bull starts”.

He went, “Baaa”.

I went, “Moooo”.

He said, “Ok you start.”

My girlfriend asked me what I was doing on the computer.

I said, “Looking for cheap flights.”

She was delighted and told me she loves me.

Which really surprised me because she’s never been interested in darts before.

A woman was throwing darts at a bar when an attractive young man approached her.

He said, “Excuse me, miss?”

And so she did.

A statistician is playing darts.

The first dart veers wildly to the left.

The second dart veers wildly to the right.

The statistician exclaims, “Bullseye!”

So a dart player came up to me and said, “Why did you put super glue on my dart?”

I said, “You just can’t let it go can you?”

I went into my local pub the other night and a few of my mates were in there playing darts.

I didn’t fancy a game, so I did a 180 and left.

So I played my friend last night in a game of darts and he said, “First to the bullseye wins”.

So I ran to the board and won.

I don’t like blunt darts.

They are pointless!

A research program has just been completed into the contents of a pint of beer and it has been discovered that all beer contains female hormones.

This of course explains why after 10 pints of beer you talk a load of nonsense and can’t throw a dart straight!

I told my friend that he throws darts like lightning.

He got excited until I clarified, “You never hit the same spot twice!”

Why did the dart player bring a ladder to the game?

Because they wanted to take their game to the next level!

Best Darts Puns

What do you call a woman who’s really good at darts?


What do you call a woman who’s really bad at darts?


What do you call a man who’s really bad at darts?


What do darts players play in winter?

Ice oche!

A priest was the surprise winner of our local darts competition.

He was a curate.

I threw a firecracker towards a dart board.

It was bang on target.

The sugar cube was terrible at darts.

It wasn’t very dextrose.

What do you call a man dodging darts?

Dart Evader.

My mate was playing darts last night.

He said he got a double 25.

I think he’s talking bull!

I was throwing darts at a map of the continental United States when I Mich’d, again!

At a bar, my friend made a remarkable shot in pool, and I asked how he did it.

He said, “When I am about to take a shot, it’s like magic, I can just see the line where I need to shoot.”

Then he threw a dart and got a bullseye on the first throw and I asked how he could aim the dart so well.

He said, “When I am about to throw a dart, it’s like magic, I can just see the line where I need to throw it.”

Later, he got in a fight with another guy at the bar. He threw a punch and missed badly. I asked how he could throw such a poorly aimed punch.

He said, “There is no punch line.”

A bloke walks into a bar and there are two nuns playing darts.

He offers to do the scoring.

The first nun hits a treble twenty with her first and second darts and double twenty with her third.

The man shouts out “One hundred and sixty.”

The second nun goes to throw and hits a treble twenty, a single twenty and the third dart hits the wire and rebounds straight into the nun’s eye, killing her instantly!

The bloke shouts out, “One nun dead and eighty!”

I once saw a ghost play darts.

He kept aiming for the boo-llseye.

What’s a dart’s favorite color?


Why was the dartboard sad?

It was board stiff.

They used to call me Mister Dartboard in my local pub.

Because I usually did!

More Sports Jokes

If these funny puns and jokes about darts hit the bullseye, you’ll also enjoy these other sports jokes:

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