As The Doors once sang, people are strange. And that makes for lots of funny jokes about people! Enjoy this collection.
Jokes About People
Light travels faster than sound.
That’s why some people appear bright until they talk.
How does an Eskimo build his house?
Igloos it together.
Edgar Allen Poe is about to walk into a tree and you only have enough time to say one word before he hits it. What should you say to him?
I know a psychic with amnesia.
They know in advance what they’re going to forget.
I once thanked a French guy to death.
It was a merci killing.
A cable repairman was on my street today and he asked me what time it was.
I told him, “It’s between 1 and 8 pm.”
What do sad Mexicans wear?
My sister asked for me to bring her something hard to write on.
I don’t know why she got so mad at me.
It’s pretty hard to write on sand.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
Socialist jokes aren’t funny…
Unless everyone gets them.
My grandmother is 85 and she still doesn’t need glasses.
She drinks straight from the bottle.
I used to know a baker who had red hair.
He was a ginger bread man.
What do you call a hippie’s wife?
These darn millennials…
Walking around like they rent the place.
“Back in the day,” my grandpa said, “You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well.”
“But today,” he continued, “Wherever you go, there are cameras.”
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying?
Are you having a crisis?
The 13th Amendment makes it illegal to buy people.
Apparently, it doesn’t apply to congressmen.
A psychiatrist finds a man lying by the road who has been robbed and beaten senseless.
The psychiatrist says, “My god, whoever did this needs help!”
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it’s white and settles on their land.