We’re not sticking our necks out when we say these funny giraffe jokes and puns are on a different level!
Funny Giraffe Jokes
It takes a big man to admit his mistakes.
But it takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because if they didn’t, their heads would just be floating in the air.
Why did the giraffe break up with his girlfriend?
Because she was a cheetah.
What did Dracula say then he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Neck-tarines.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
A twelve-foot toothbrush.
You’re riding a horse full speed. There’s a giraffe next to you and a lion chasing you, what do you do?
Get your drunken self off the carousel.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
Why don’t people believe giraffes’ stories?
Because they tell tall tales.
Why do giraffes take longer to apologize?
Because it takes them longer to swallow their pride.
What do giraffes have that no other animals have?
Baby giraffes.
Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because its head is so far from its body.
Giraffes don’t have the smartest brains in the animal kingdom…
But they’re up there.
When a giraffe eats a snack…
A little goes a long way.
Why didn’t the other animals invite the giraffe to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
What do you call a giraffe with a girlfriend?
A neck-romancer.
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe, which promptly lays down on the floor.
The barman says, “Hey, you can’t leave that lying there!”
The man says, “It’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe.”
Why did the giraffe break up with his girlfriend?
Because she was a cheetah.
A man walks into a bar, goes up to the bartender, and asks her to make him a giraffe.
Taken aback, she replies, “Well, that’s a tall order!”
What do giraffes do if they get involved in a fight?
Nothing. They look down on that kind of thing.
Giraffes can grow up to eighteen feet.
But most only grow four.
One of the seven dwarves kissed a giraffe yesterday.
Apparently the other six put him up to it.
Giraffes are truly…
Necks level.
I don’t like giraffes.
They are intallerable.
The giraffe at our local zoo graduated early from university.
He was head and shoulders above the rest of his class.
I bet on a giraffe race the other day.
Mine lost by a neck.
It was nowhere near the finish line.
I’ve just bought a giraffe online.
I’m not sure if it will be delivered though.
It’s a tall order.
Our local zoo only has giraffes.
It’s called Giraffic Park.
Why didn’t people laugh at the giraffe’s jokes?
Because they went over their heads.
Where do you put Giraffes that don’t feel good?
Giraffe Sick Park.
What happens when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
They get a plane in the neck.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a pig?
Bacon and legs.
Why don’t other animals like giraffes?
Because they always look down on them.
What sort of art do giraffes paint?
Giraffiti.
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
Why did the giraffe get promoted to manager at the zoo?
Because people looked up to him.
What do you call it when giraffes are all crammed together and having trouble moving?
Giraffic.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
I lost my job feeding giraffes.
I just wasn’t up to it.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To avoid the giraffic jam.
The giraffe says to the hippopotamus, “You know Joe the lion? He told me he’s a shape shifter. Can turn into any animal he wants.”
The hippopotamus scoffs. “That guy? Nah, he’s always lion.”
Why do giraffes make bad bosses?
Because they can’t see eye-to-eye with their employees.
I am Private Raffe of the British Army.
Thank God I’m not American.
I would be a giraffe.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
What do you call an animal that turns into a boat?
A gi-raft.
Did you hear about the race between the giraffe and the ostrich?
It was neck and neck.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a lawyer?
The long arm of the law.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
It’s a long one.
When does a giraffe have 8 legs?
When there are two of them.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffes?
It’s a tall order.
Knock knock!
Who’s there.
Giraffe.
Giraffe who?
Giraffe anything to eat? I’m starving!
How Do You Put A Giraffe Into A Refrigerator Joke
Person 1: You have 500 bricks. If you throw one off a plane, how many will you have left?
Person 2: 499.
Person 1: Correct!
Person 1: How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Person 2: That’s not physically possible.
Person 1: Wrong, you open the refrigerator door, put the elephant inside, and close the door!
Person 1: How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Person 2: Open the refrigerator door, put the giraffe inside, and close the door.
Person 1: Wrong, you open the refrigerator door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door!
Person 1: The whole jungle was invited to the lion’s party, but someone didn’t show up. Who is it?
Person 2: I don’t know.
Person 1: The giraffe, because he was inside the refrigerator!
Person 1: An old granny wants to cross a crocodile-infested river. But somehow, she crossed the river safely. How?
Person 2: I’m not too sure about that.
Person 1: She could cross it safely because there were no crocodiles!
Person 2: But you said the river was crocodile-infested.
Person 1: Yeah, that’s true, but you didn’t think about the fact that the crocodiles went to the lion’s party!
Person 1: Even though the granny was safe swimming across the river, she died. How?
Person 2: The crocodiles ate her?
Person 2: The crocodiles ate her?
Person 1: Nope, the brick hit her head.
More Animal Jokes
If you liked these puns and jokes about giraffes, you’ll enjoy our other animal jokes too:
