We thought we’d run these funny diarrhea jokes and puns by you; hopefully they don’t stink the place out!
Funny Diarrhea Jokes
Next week is Diarrhea Awareness Week.
Runs until Friday.
Did you hear about the giant with diarrhea?
It’s all over town.
Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life.
Why are 1 out of 5 men enjoying it?
Why are you always late when you have diarrhea?
Because you’re running behind.
Laughter is the best medicine.
Except when it comes to treating diarrhea.
The shape that your mouth makes when you say the word “poop” is that same that your butt makes when you say “explosive diarrhea”.
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A salad shooter.
What do diarrhea and eye color have in common?
It runs in your genes.
My diarrhea is gone.
I guess you could say it’s gonorrhea.
On the day my friends were hosting my birthday celebration, I had diarrhea.
I was a party pooper.
Today I was waiting at a traffic light, and someone hit me so hard it gave me diarrhea.
It was a hit and runs.
Did you hear about the pigeon with diarrhea?
It kept saying “Poopoo Poopoo”.
What’s faster – lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
My friend said, “Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.”
I said, “Try ordering Tacos instead.”
What is the only correct answer to the question, “Are you ticklish?”
I have explosive diarrhea.
Two bats were hanging upside down in a cave.
The first bat asks the second, “Do you remember the worst day of your life?”
“I sure do,” said the second bat. “It was the day I had diarrhea.”
Some people say love is the best feeling.
But I think finding a toilet when you have diarrhea is better.
Doctor, can I take a bath with diarrhea?
Well, if you have enough…
What did diarrhea say to poop?
You’re in shape.
What does a man with diarrhea and an electric car owner have in common?
They both hope to make it home.
What happens to shoes when you have diarrhea?
All shoes are running shoes.
Diarrhea Dad Jokes
What do you call a Scotsman with diarrhea?
I recently read the top 10 facts about diarrhea.
Number 2 surprised me.
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.
From now on, I will avoid food that gives me diarrhea.
It’s a solid plan.
What do you call a hotel breakfast that gives you diarrhea?
How do bankers describe having diarrhea?
Liquidating their assets.
What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?
A wide berth.
My mother-in-law has a massive case of diarrhea.
She won’t find out until she unpacks her luggage.
What does Willie Nelson sing when he has diarrhea?
On the Commode Again.
What is the name of the James Bond movie where he fights off a stomach virus?
Diarrhea Another Day.
My son just had his first encounter with diarrhea.
They didn’t get off to a solid start.
My love for you is like diarrhea.
I can’t hold it in!
A patient asked her doctor if she could take her cholesterol pills with diarrhea.
They told her it was better with water or juice.
What do Netflix and diarrhea have in common?
Both stream instantly.
What kind of bee gives you diarrhea when it stings?
Don’t adopt a puppy to see if you’re ready for kids.
Adopt a homeless guy with diarrhea and a bunch of stories that don’t go anywhere.
Last week I got eczema, diarrhea, and hemorrhoids.
It was the first time I ever won a game of Scrabble.
What do you call repetitive diarrhea?
What’s worse than having diarrhea and a clogged toilet?
Nothing, please someone help me out.
I ate 15 raw oysters last night at the restaurant.
I paid for it with exploding diarrhea.
I think they would have preferred cash.
What does Harry Potter call his diarrhea?
The other day I called in sick with diarrhea.
My boss told me to get it together.
Diarrhea remedy sales are up.
In fact there’s been quite a run on them.
Can we stop with the diarrhea jokes?
It’s becoming a pain in the butt.
What are the side effects of diarrhea?
There are no side effects, only rear ones.
What do you call diarrhea from eating too much chocolate and peanut butter?
Best Diarrhea Puns
Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.
I want to help people spell diarrhea correctly.
Prevent irregular vowel movement.
Why is diarrhea hereditary?
It runs in the genes.
I got diarrhea after eating alphabet soup.
It was a large vowel movement.
I thought I should make a list of all the foods that give me the runs.
I’ll write them daily in my diarrhea.
How do you know when an octopus has diarrhea?
It leaves squid marks.
What do you call a quesadilla that gives you upset stomach?
A quesadiarrhea. (A case a diarrhea)
What do diarrhea and baldness have in common?
They both run in your genes.
What do you call a religious man with diarrhea who isn’t afraid to pass gas at anytime?
The policeman was able to track down the suspect who was suffering from diarrhea.
When commended, he modestly replied that it was all in the line of doodie.
How do you help a girl with severe diarrhea?
I was having random bouts of diarrhea but I couldn’t figure out what was causing it, so I started keeping track.
I realized it was only happening when I would wear those polo shirts with the little alligator stitched on them.
Turns out I’m Lacoste intolerant.
What is one of the primary symptoms of diarrhea of the mouth?
Uncontrollable vowel movements.
What do you call a pregnant cougar with diarrhea?
A poo ma.
What do you call it when royalty gets an upset stomach?
The Princess Diarrheas.
What’s brown and hides in the attic?
The diarrhea of Anne Frank.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed these hilarious puns and jokes about diarrhea, then you may also like these other funny jokes: