Bad Dad Jokes

Dad’s telling bad jokes to their kids and making them groan is a time-honored tradition and who are we to interfere with tradition? So here’s a collection of funny Dad jokes so bad they’re good!

Funny Dad Jokes So Bad They’re Good

Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?

Because they had no chemistry.

According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes to cyan before they die.


Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you.

Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

What do you call a single kernel on a corn cob?

A unicorn.

How do crazy people get through the woods?

They take the psycho path.

I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.

Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.

What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

Sir Render.

I absolutely support any scientific effort to create an invisibility cloak.

I just want to make myself clear.

My furniture and I are really close.

My recliner and I go way back.

It took me 11 puns to finally make my friend laugh…

Because no pun in ten did.

What do you call a row of men waiting for a hair cut?

A barbercue.

When is the best time to buy a trampoline?

Spring time.

What do you call a mac ‘n’ cheese that gets all up in your face?

Too close for comfort food.

What kind of music does a balloon listen to?


I tell dad jokes even though I have no kids.

I’m a faux pa.

How do they make scissors at the factory?

With cutting edge technology.

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly because…

Communication is key.

Unfortunately, Superman won’t be able to fight Dracula this evening…

He can’t go near the crypt tonight.

I went to see my doctor this morning and told him “The tablets you gave me to stop me shrinking aren’t working”.

He said, “You’ll just have to be a little patient.”

I always knock on the fridge door before I open it.

Just in case there’s a salad dressing.

Never fight dinosaurs…

You’ll get Jurasskicked.

What do an English teacher and a coder have in common?

They’re both pro-grammars.

I love how the earth rotates.

It really makes my day.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it’s fully groan.

I thought about going on an all almond diet.

But that would just be nuts!

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