Bear Jokes And Puns

We couldn’t bear for you to miss these funny bear jokes and puns so without paws, here they are!

Funny Bear Jokes

Park rangers told us not to leave any wrappers inside the car because bears might break in.

Bears must really like hip-hop.

Why did Winnie the Pooh quit his job writing obituaries?

He didn’t like being the bear of bad news.

What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?

Frosted tips.

“Never buy flowers from a monk”, Smokey the Bear said.

Only you can prevent florist friars.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear.

They say when confronted by a bear, the best thing to do is play dead.

But when I came face to face with one in the woods the other day, I accidentally played dad instead.

Now it can ride a bike without training wheels.

A bear goes to the bar and says, “Can I get one whiskey………………and one coke?”

The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?”

The bear replies, “I was born with them.”

Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his cake?

He was stuffed.

What kind of cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?


What do you call bears with no ears?


What do you call a bear in the rain?

A drizzly bear.

How does Winnie the Pooh eat his honey?

With his bear hands.

I was watching a documentary about how polar bears’ hands and feet have adapted to the snow when all of a sudden my TV froze.

It’s okay though, it was just on paws.

What kind of bear won’t argue?

Agree-zzly bear!

Mary had a baby bear,

To which she was so kind,

And everywhere that Mary went,

You could see her bear behind.

What’s angry, calm and white?

A bi-polar bear.

What do you call a polar bear with earmuffs on?

Anything you want. They can’t hear you.

How do you catch a polar bear?

You make a hole in the ice and line it with peas.

When the bear goes in to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

Bear with me here…

What should I feed it?

What are bears without bees?


There was a bear attack in my neighborhood last night.

It was grizzly.

Why did the bear wear slippers?

To cover his bear feet.

What do you call a polar bear in the jungle?


What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?

A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.

Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection.

I read that if you eat a polar bear’s liver you’ll get sick from too much vitamin A.

I decided to test this so I called the butcher and asked them to send some over.

But unfortunately they said they don’t de-liver polar bear.

Why teddy bears don’t go to the gym?

They don’t want to get ripped.

What animal is legally allowed to carry a firearm?

Bears. They have a right to bear arms.

What do you call a group of confused black and white bears?


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