You’d have to be completely batty not to laugh at these hilarious bat jokes and puns!
Funny Bat Jokes
What do you call a tree who dresses like a bat and fights crime?
Spruce Wayne.
What kind of animal is best at hitting baseballs?
A bat.
Why are vampires lousy at baseball?
Because their bats always fly away.
What kind of bats swing upside down?
Acro-bats.
Why do vampires clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath.
How are bats like real-estate agents?
It’s all echo-location location location.
Did you know groups of bats can generate electricity?
They’re called bat-arrays.
Baby rat and mommy rat are walking down a dirt road when a bat flies by.
Baby rat turns to his mom and says, “Look ma, an angel.”
What’s the worst thing for bats as they grow old?
Incontinence.
Two bats were hanging upside down in a cave.
The first bat asked the second, “Do you remember the worst day of your life?”
“I sure do,” said the second bat. “It was the day I had diarrhea.”
What happened when the boy bat met the girl bat?
It was love at first bite.
What do you call a bat with a carrot in each ear?
Anything you want because they can’t hear you.
What’s the first thing bats learn at school?
The alphabat.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages?
A wheely bat idea.
What do you call a little bat?
A battle.
What did the first bat say to the second bat?
Let’s hang around together.
What did the mommy bat say to her naughty son?
You bat boy.
What do you call a bat in a belfry?
A dingbat.
How do bats fly without bumping into anything?
They use their wing mirrors.
What did the bat say to the vampire?
You suck.
What’s the best way to hold a bat?
By the handle.
What did the bat say to his friend who returned after missing a day of school?
Welcome bat.
How do you make a bat stew?
Keep him waiting.
What do bats do for exercise?
Aerobatics.
