Funny animal jokes!

Animal jokes and puns

What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig's blood?
Swine.
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
Because he has herd them all.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip?
Bison!
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank...
Does that make him bambidextrous?
What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost?
A cocker poodle boo.
My cat got stolen.
I think she was taken by a purr snatcher.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court!
What breed of dog will unlock your front door?
Yorkie.
What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer?
Quacks in the pavement.
Why are fish easy to weigh?
Because they have their own scales.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory?
Hamnesia.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
I spotted an albino Dalmatian today.
It was the least I could do.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can't fly."
Student: "A dead bird, sir."
Where are sea horses kept?
In the corral reef.
How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a sty-scraper.
One of my hens can count her own eggs.
She's a mathamachicken.
Why are frogs always so happy?
They eat what ever bugs them.
A weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
A guy walks into the library and asks for a book on sea turtles.
The librarian asks, "Hard back?"
The guy replies, "Yeah, little heads too."
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
Swimming trunks.
(c) The Humor Zone.
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